he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
