Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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