the condom got lost in my hair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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