everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
