Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
