We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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