apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
