So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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