Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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