i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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