Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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