Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
