Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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