I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
