Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
