On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
