I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
