Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
