Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
