I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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