Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
