By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
