Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
