I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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