Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
