dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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