my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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