She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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