I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize