never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
