I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
