I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
