Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
