NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i think my cat just said my name.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize