it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
