you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
