Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
