i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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