So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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