It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
