im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
