I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
