Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
