I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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