accomplished twins. life is a go
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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