U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We left an ass print on the piano.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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