he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Did I show you my penis last night?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
