ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
