I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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