It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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