I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
