im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
