Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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