You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
