just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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