I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
