I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
