why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
