I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
